A letter I recieved this morning has freaked me out. As you all know, there are sometimes long periods of time when our regular bloggers aren’t in the mood to post. Bernest Ernstein, our sex loving senior citizen blogger has been known to disappear for months at a time on trips to remote locations in Asia, Europe, and South America. I usually don’t worry about him as he is a curmudgeionly old fart that usually finds trouble but also usually finds a way out of it. This morning I recieved the following letter postmarked from Beirut. If you have heard from Bernest or have a picture of him please send it to me at chairman@fukn.us or post a comment below. If I were a praying man, I would send a prayer out for him, since I’m not, I’ll probably have a drink for him.
cd
Augus 2006 05
Sabah al khair Mr. Chairman,
My name is Mohammad Suliman and I am writing to you at the asking of our mutual friend Bernest Ernstein. Bernest is coughing very much and maybe wants to have a drink but cannot do that here in this country. I will be shortly as my writng in English is not so good enough. Our friend, he is being currently kept this way here in my country of Lebanon. I am the worker here where he is and he has been helping me with learning my english, your language. Bernest tells me to say that he needs some fucking tobacco money and his gambling is become a problem now. He say that mayabe you can become my friend too. ANd maybe I can come get a job with you someday. Thank you for this letter and I wish you one happy Ramadan.
Your Friend,
Mohammad
