January 30, 2023

auto flush
Ok, not to be on potty tangent, but I just happened to see this today and I had to post it because it is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.
Of course, my reasons for hating auto-flushing toilets are different from that of the author’s, but who cares? I’m just happy that someone besides myself has taken up this cause.
Why I hate auto-flushing toilets:
1. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been sprayed with nasty toilet water because I bent down to get something from a bag while I was going pee pee.
2. Total waste of water!
3. Technology like this is overindulgent and downright irritating.
4. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve put one of those toilet seat covers (another annoying and wasteful invention that I can’t help but use because of my paranoia about potty germs) and the toilet has automatically flushed before I had a chance to sit down and the toilet seat cover got flushed too.
5. Did I mention the hundreds of times my bum has been sprayed with nasty public toilet water?
-Bambi Gidgemonic
The Crappiest Invention of All Time
Why the auto-flushing toilet must die.
By Nick Schulz
After a stint of telecommuting, I recently returned to working in a large downtown building. My office shares a men’s room with everyone who works on our level. The bathroom sports three stalls, each of which is outfitted with the most uncivilized technology of the modern age—the hands-free, automatic-flush toilet bowl.
(Before you read farther, please excuse the scatological nature of this article. Decorum would generally preclude me from writing about things so unsavory. But if no one speaks up, we will all be condemned to suffer indignities at the hands of this wretched sanitation cop. And I trust that once I make my case here, we will have our solution and will never have to speak of such matters again.)
To understand why hands-free toilet technology stinks, you must first understand three things that any well-designed loo should permit you to do.
1) Clean the pool. You must be able to flush the toilet easily before sitting down, in case any detritus remains from a previous, inconsiderate visitor.
2) Clean the pool, again. You must be able to flush more than once after you are done. Some of us are more prolific than others, and courteous patrons will want to ensure that Point 1 is unnecessary for whomever follows.
3) Issue a courtesy flush. If you plan to settle down with the sports page, you should flush immediately after dropping the kids at the pool. There’s no need to let the kids linger any longer than absolutely necessary. This is for the benefit of other visitors.

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