February 4, 2023

Aquillo Mallot
We’re talking this issue with Aquillo Mallot, a homeless man of alternative housing. An occupational non-profit mercenary, Gypsy Moth farmer, comfrey and mullen rancher, pie rat, and surveyor of exotic substances. He currently holds the position of Bishop of the Holy Primeval Coyote Church in his space-time. Also Master of the Sacred Marriage bar none. He lives souly on food bank handouts, dead carrion alongside I-5 and visions of extraterrestrial guidance. “The Secret Chiefs told me to do it,” he says. His projects involve reviving the Old Goddess Worship down on the beach near Marine Park for Eris Kegal, the Sumerian Goddess of the underworld at 4:20in the mornings and evenings. He would also like to say, “ Half way between here and there the public is encouraged to participate in a naked funfest in Fairhaven half way between…”
Editors note: Writers of Conchsense Lee Vamial Oan and George Hush prepared questions and met with Aquillo Mallot at a secret location. The following is a transcript of that conversation. Lee Vamial Oan acted as interviewer.
LMO: How do you feel about being referred to as “homeless?”
AM: ( Laughs) I think it’s a fine and outstanding name. I think everybody should refer to me as homeless. That way there’s definition. I think we should each wear orange armbands so we can be identified by the populace and have us picking up trash daily to earn our right in this fair city. And each homeless person should be branded with a “V” for vagrant on their forehead. Like in old town England and if caught inside of the gates, again behead them and post their heads on the outside of the gate as you come into town. That’s what I think about homelessness
LMO: How do you feel when you hear a politician or some such person say anything like, “ We’ve got to do something about the homeless problem?”
AM: Well, I guess I feel like figuring out who they are, where they live, and working on their problem. That’s how I “feel”. Figuring out who they are and where they live.
LMO: Do you feel that actions taken on “ the homeless problem” threaten your way of life?
AM: Exactly.
LMO: A lot of people will refer to a homeless person as a “lazy bum”. Do you feel that laziness has anything to do with your way of life?
AM: (smiling) I am the king of laziness! I am laziness himself! The god basking in the fuckin’ sunshine, that is I. Laziness! Sloth! Indolence!
LMO: Do people you don’t know express prejudice to you?
AM: Generally always.
LMO: What, in your opinion, allows a person to perceive you in a way that raises a prejudice.
AM: Dirt level.
LMO: Dirt level?
AM: How much dirt you have on you, and how much dirt you don’t.
LMO: Do you find this attributable to an emotion?
AM: No, it’s general fear. Cultural fear. The thing about homelessness is that that’s the right in America for children to grow up killing homeless people. It’s the new right of passage in America as well as children to go into high schools and mow down their classmates. This is what I feel is happening. You know? I don’t even look at it as homeless though, that’s the main thing. You got the wrong guy as far as the homeless dude. You know? You picked the wrong fuckin’ dude. I’m just a low down clown. You know? This homeless guy- he’’ another dude….cause I carry my home in my heart. That’s the amazing thing, all those other people are homeless out there…not me. I’m just adequete shelter deprived. Unable to build my sacrificial fires and ceremonial fires wherever I need to cause I’m a holy man. You know? I have a gift. I’m bringing it to the people without a roof over my head. That’s what Jesus said, go out into the wilderness and fornicate….rapidly.
LMO: What would you say is the fundamental oppressive force that impoverishes, so to speak, people such as yourself?
AM: The W.T.O. World Trade Organization. Evil masters of the planet Earth. Or the general class system. What would be my answer to this question? Class war. You know? Which is already trying to be instigated by certain interest groups like the WTO so they can have their U.N. Goon Squad bop down in the back yard and start rounding up “homeless” people and shipping them off to the concentration camps to fuel the new Soylent Green factory dog food conspiracy. What do you think when the WTO kicks in and they sell a billion cars to China? Everybody’s going to be homeless then. ( Smiling) Everybody’s going to be living off dirt and sticks. It just changes hands. The water’s rising, better get ready. I’m building a giant ship out in Bellingham Bay, one of my projects. The center of worship. It’s going to be an underground city, just like in Star Wars.
LMO: If the group system that governs social allowance were to collapse anywhere in the next 5 years, who generally speaking , besides people with guns, do you think would have the greatest intelligence awareness for surviving in a world subject to an anarchism based on systematic collapse?
AM: Okay. This is not me speaking to you as an interviewer, this is me speaking to the audience. My people in the end times will eat your people. You’ll be food. Food and slaves. This is my idea of fun. Your world ends, mine begins. Chaos! The beast, 666! Hail Satan! Ha ha ha ha ha! You know? ( The laughter trails off in the distance)
LMO: What is the motivational factor for your lifestyle?
AM: I would say love. Love of life. The life of Riley. This guy in Ireland who went around like Diogeses. He got drunk and whored, and laid around in the country side. Not working. Just kicking back. The love of life or I have no reason to be doing what I’m doing, you know? Other than that…really, I’m leading the life of Riley. So elect me! I’ll be your mayor! Now you should get another homeless person, put them in here and back drop against me and see what a “real” homeless person will say to you. I’m here because I have to be here. Other people are there because of various drug reasons and mental problems. I have no mental problems except for digging through trash cans. ( laughs) It’s like a fetish. I have another mental problem. Megalomania. That may be another reason for my further alienation from society. I actually believe in what I do. Since other people are taught not to believe in anything unless it comes form the boss or the TV or some authority you know? I say usurp that authority, get naked, throw off your fuckin’…light sabers, you know? And come live in the wilderness with me! Come down like Til Ubinspeigal. He’s the German naturalist who lived like Robin Hood, yet he lived in the 1840’s in Germany. The stage coaches would go by and he’d ride out and take all their money. He did it so humorously that everybody laughed while he was taking their money. And he would say “ Come with me, come live with me, you don’t need this!” This was the 1840’s, he was a naturalist in the sense that he lived in the wilderness. ( Laughs) And he robbed the rich for 30 years and then of course, they had him up on the gallows. Everybody in this town knew him, so maybe a thousand people from all over the countryside turned out to see Til Ubenspiegals hanging. And even on the gallow he was laughing and everybody was laughing, you know? Love Nature!
LMO: Are you homeless by choice?
AM: I wouldn’t say by choice, but I’d say I’m not homeless by choice. Right now if I had my own way, I’d be burning down your houses and using them for fires. Keep warm. I’d be parking in your back little cottage and fuckin’ burning your house down to stay warm during the winter. A house a day. The basic thing about the whole thing is that if the police leave you alone, then you’re going to have a real good winter. It’s the police that are the problem, nothing else. None of those other people aren’t tough enough. You know a few of the homeless get murdered here and there out on the tracks because they didn’t protect themselves. So they get preyed on. The basic thing is arm yourself to the teeth , build many fires, and do many sacrifices for the Great Gods. The Great old ones. How can I answer these questions with a straight face? They’re so dry and solicitacious of humanitarian fallings down the ages. I just am. I’m probably one in ten thousand. You’ll probably have to go through ten thousand people before you meet another me. I’m not them. So it’s better to just go out and get the homeless guy off the street. The wino motherfuckers that are brain dead or totally there..they have good answers too. I’m just saying, those are the “We Care Mission People”. My idea? Burn down the mission! That’s the only way you’re going to get equality, burn down the mission! I live here. I’m a natural person, I don’t need a fucking house. I’m cool when I got one, but you know, I live here. I’m a native. I’m an aboriginal. I’ve gone native and I live here.
It’s us against them. Either you over-throw your masters or you just walk away and ignore them. That’s why I think work is part of the prison system. You know? Make something for somebody to do so they can stay warm and eat. (Laughs) Make them do that to get there. It’s something they really want to do. Am I lazy? No, I just don’t want to do your dumb shit work man and get paid shit. I’d rather be scrounging through trash and picking exotic substances and being the barter system. I’d rather be pirating all the goods I can get my hands on. Life was simple a hundred years ago. Kick back. People are recently homeless. In the old days we were just pilgrims and holy men and raving monks. Spiritual warriors that live outside and brave the weather. That’s why I don’t call it “ homeless”. A lot of people have houses, but very few have homes. You could have the biggest fucking house and you could be just rotting inside your soul. What I’m trying to say is a home is not a house. And having all of your reality around you and its all wealth and opulence, but that doesn’t mean you have anything. Your soul might be rotten. So it’s spiritual health inside the body that’s the key factor for keeping me the way I am as to the way I could be because I think I’d lose, I’d detract from myself cause I believe this is the natural way people live. That they weren’t meant to work or do for anybody else unless they felt like it, you know? Like “That’s a good thing to do”, but not like “Yeah, I got to get up and go dig this ditch for this fucker who I don’t even like!” In the first place he looks at me like I’m dirt and I feel like going up there and caving in his skull in the morning. Feasting on his flesh for breakfast. That’s the lie they sold you, that’s the lie they sold you, you know? Go to school, go to work, then go die!

%d bloggers like this: