These letters are from a soldier enlisted in the U.S. Army . If you have questions or observations, you can post them here and he will see them. Whether he chooses to answer them or not…that is up to him.
I know its been some time since I last wrote. Everything is ok here, of course recent events have stirred up a bit of what we are doing, you can read the recent major headlines in Iraq and know we are a Millitary Intelligence unit and you can add it all up.
Of course everyone is concerned, in many ways its easy for me to forget I am at war, but its not that I forget I am at war, but I have become so accustomed to living in a warzone, to hearing gun shots, mortars and rockets falling and seeing tracers flying across the sky.
Truth is I definetly have one of the better jobs in Iraq and very rarely put in immediate danger. Of course that is everyones fear that you become so blasé about it that you lose your edge, but truth be told the things I have to worry about are stray bullets and a mortars and if I get clipped than there is not much I can do about it.
I already feel strange, you can probally already tell my thoughts are very fractured, I can’t keep thoughts straight in my head and seem to be forgetting a lot of things. I don’t know what it is, I definetly am losing focus here, in the beginning of this deployment I felt a lot sharper now everything is a haze, I am glad I am coming home soon and not getting extended. I can’t imagine an additional three months, though part of me wonders how I will adapt back to civilian life.
I wish I had some interesting stuff to tell you , I mean there is very interesting missions we are going on and gathering intelligence but there is nothing I can even remotely tell you. Do I think any of what we are doing is causing a difference? I don’t know? It feels like we are trying to move a mountain one bucket of rock and dirt at a time. But I guess you have to start some where. I do wish all my army friends could be here even just for a little time, it does provide you with a new way of seeing things and how we fit in this world.
The truth is I have so much hate and anger for so many things over here, but I am not going to rant anymore, its just all to futile. There is nothing an enlisted soldier can do or say that is going to make a lick of difference. So I will keep my complaints to myself and just focus on the positive things going on in my life. I know that seems like selling out in some ways, or being disingenuous, ’cause one of the reasons I joined was I believe people should stand up for what they believe in . but now I am considering just self pursuit. Honestly one part of me was truly considering joining a government agency but the truth is , if the army is any indication, people in government jobs are half way useless, it’s a job for lazy people who want to skate by, there is no active oversight and no one gives a damn. If the army was a private organization half the people would have been fired a long time ago and the vast majority of people would not have the rank (position) they have now. I have seen so many idiots in high ranking positions that I am not surprised that things are this fucked up. All you do is go to these schools for advancement, keep your mouth shut, play the political game , laugh at some officers bad jokes and get promoted without a care for your talent or ability.
Ok , somehow that turned into a rant. I guess I can’t send home a letter without at least one, but just think of it as me practicing my freedoms.
That is why I am going to move into the private sector, tired of useless people in the government that get in the way of people who give a damn. At least I know the success (or failure) I achieve will be achieved by my hard work or not. Well haven’t started anything yet…so we will see.
But yeah, just counting down the days, …
1 thought on “A New Letter from Iraq”
I just read your letter and it left me so sad. I feel so helpless and enraged. I hate this war, and I hope that doesn’t offend you. I was always against it, but at the same time was always hoping it would end well. In my opinion we left “happy ending” three years ago.
I ache for you for what you’re going through. Please know that there are people who think about you, think you are a hero, know that your heart is in the right place, know that you are a decent human being who can only take so much, and that the way you feel now is justified. If I could make your hate go away I would.
I believe you’re in an impossible situation, and if that weren’t true you would still have your focus, your hope, and your desire to contribute. It’s not your fault. Maybe, after this trauma is over, it will come back.
Just do what you can to please stay alive.