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Sploid: La Familia De Bush

Posted on July 1, 2006 by CD

Sploid: La Familia De Bush

Jenna Bush is headed to Latin America as the latest member of the Bush Dynasty ordered to “become Hispanic.”She was once the blonde party girl who brought a little fun to the tragic reign of her father. But the fun is over — the 24-year-old Jenna is on her way to an undisclosed “south of the border” country where she’ll be a teacher and find a suitable Hispanic husband.
Her Uncle Jeb got similar orders in 1971. He was sent to León, a big industrial town in the Central Mexican state of Guanajuato. Teaching English in such a place was hardly a glamorous assignment.
Young Jeb Bush married a local Mestizo girl, Columba, and they began breeding the first official “little brown ones” of the Bush Dynasty. Of Jeb and Columba’s three children, only one turned out rotten — the crack addict Noelle Bush — leaving two possible presidents, older brother and “Latino sex symbol” George “Jorge” P. Bush and little brother Jebby.
Jenna will leave behind her WASP boyfriend, former Karl Rove lackey Henry Hager. There are enough blue-blooded Bushes.
The Family has known the score for half a century, when George H.W. first began “The Bush Family Project” by starting a U.S./Mexican oil business. The American dynasty sees the demographic change of North America as an opportunity — the same way Prescott Bush saw opportunity in backing the Nazis, or George H.W. Bush saw opportunity in aligning with Wahhabi royalty in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.

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