One of the main reasons I can see for getting out of Iraq is the unpantied goat problem…we need to leave these people alone, give them some privacy, so no one dies due to a nekkid goat. Allah forbid! Goats are WMDs!
pick your reason for dying…
According to a recent poll conducted by Opinion Dynamicsâand reported by FOX Newsâ67% of Americans believe that the U.S. will be unable to stop a civil war from breaking out in Iraq. 3% think there is already a civil war going on. 31% say the U.S. should pull out troops gradually over the next year, while 27% vote for a complete pullout by the end of 2006.
Few Americans still believe that the U.S. occupation has improved the situation in Iraq. Constant news on Shiite/Sunni kidnappings and the increasing power of Islamist fanatics in the country have left us exasperated and confused. And the new âU.S.-friendlyâ? Iraqi government seems questionable, to say the least.
To assess how bad the situation really is, real-life examples usually tell a better story than numbers.
On August 7, NPR journalist John Hendren reported that âShepherds in the rural western Baghdad neighborhood of Gazalia have recently been murdered. . . for failing to diaper their goats. Apparently, the sexual tension is so high in regions where sheiks take a draconian view of Sharia law that they feel the sight of naked goats poses an unacceptable temptation.â?
But itâs not only goats moving their uncovered behinds in a sensual way that irks fervent believers. Produce, too, has gotten a bad reputation.
In East Baghdad, said Hendren, â[a] grocer and three others were shot to death and the store was firebombed, because he suggestively arranged his vegetables. I couldnât believe it at first. . . But an Iraqi colleague explained matter-of-factly that Shiite clerics have recently distributed a flyer directing grocers how to display their food. Standing up a celery stock near a couple of tomatoes in a way that mightâto the profoundly repressedâsuggest an aroused male is now a capital offense.â?
Even though Hendren has seen a lot, the latest developments have left him speechless. âIâve learned a new oxymoron: religious assassins. Iâve watched friends move repeatedly to stay ahead of attacks by insurgents. And now Iraqis are dying over goat panties and naughty veggies.â?
