Petshitter: A Silicon Valley Romance

Two people. Two catastrophically bad names. One blind date set up by the most famous couple in Silicon Valley.

Petshitter: A Silicon Valley Romance is a darkly comic novel about two brilliant people who have been held back their entire lives — not by lack of talent, not by lack of drive, but by something far more absurd and far more cruel: the names they were born with.

They meet at a taqueria in San Mateo. They fall in love in fifteen days. They move in together. They start a startup. The startup is called Petshitter.com — a platform to manage dog waste, pay people to collect it, and solve a real problem that no one in tech has had the nerve to touch.

But Petshitter is just the front door. Behind it lives Waspnest — a new kind of internet, built on mesh networks and a protocol that Silicon Valley forgot about twenty years ago, designed to dismantle the surveillance-capitalist walled gardens that have colonized human attention.

The chapter epigraphs are from a manifesto. You’ll recognize it.

Catch-22 meets The Social Network meets a tech manifesto. For readers who believe the internet was supposed to be something better — and the founders who are still trying to build it.