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The End of North Korea as We Knew It – So Long Dear Leader

Roy Orbison or Kim Jong IlI awoke this morning to be shocked at news of the death of Kim Jong Il, the illustrious leader of the hermit kingdom of North Korea. Inventor of the toaster, writer of operas and novels, film maker, the world’s best golfer (18 holes in one in 18 holes), (did I mention he invented the toaster?), and all around lovable despotic bad guy with a penchant for exotic whores and expensive liquor even as his people starved to death in the millions.

“In 1964 he graduated from the Kim Il Sung University where legend has it he wrote 1,500 books, all of which are stored in the state’s library. He also wrote 6 operas all of which are better then any in the history of music” – from his official biography

One of the triumvirate of George W. Bush’s Axis of Evil (and if my enemy’s enemy is my friend….) and anti-fashion fashionista who while not as hat-centric as Mohammar Qaddafi was certainly an icon himself in his one piece olive drab coveralls and huge black rimmed glasses. A man who showed that even the tiny, ignored, impoverished nations of the world can enrich plutonium and get the bomb and that even short, ugly guys with bad hair can father a brood of unruly children with a series of good looking actresses and singers (but maybe only if their father leaves them the wealthy and powerful leaders of communist dictatorships…but still..)

Kim Jong Il nakedI didn’t think it possible that Kim Jong Il could actually die. For years, I’ve followed his exploits and been fascinated by his oddness. Several years ago, I was painting a lot and I did a series of paintings on coffee table tops of famous dictators and despots – Kim Jong Il was one of the first. I wasn’t the only one who was fascinated by him. Team America – need I say more?

“Ambassador Vershbow is the most bitchy and malignant ambassador in history,” – Kim Jong Il on the U.S. Ambassador to Seoul, South Korea.

The tiny kingdom and the world are left in a state of shock as Kim’s youngest son, the 22 year old whose mother is a famous dancer and that apparently went to school in Switzerland is recommended as the next leader by the North Korean state. He will be the world’s most powerful 22 year old with one of the largest standing armies in the world, a fully militarized border, and of course a bunch of nuclear weapons (well at least one, but if they have one they probably have ten). Mark Zuckerberg is apparently pretty jealous.

One thing is certain as the world suddenly reacts to this incredibly disheartening news – North Korea and the world will never be the same. Will there be sudden reforms and a thaw in relations with the world? Will there be a bloody battle of succession? Will China or the US attempt to invade or take control of the country or new dictator? Will the North Korean Army let itself be led by a 22 year old kid?

Portrait of Kim Jong IlIt’s been a sad year for bad guys with the deaths of Osama Bin Laden, Qaddafi, and now Kim Jong Il. Have a great party in hell, Kim Jong Il, you probably have a suite reserved filled with big breasted Russian hookers, expensive booze, and your own special toaster.

“The United States was built as a result of genocide, and is the world’s biggest human rights abuser as it has profited from centuries of slavery and trafficking in flesh. And this inglorious history has hardly come to an end. Contemporary American forms of massacre and human trafficking are rife in Iraq and various other countries. Sinister plots are continuously being hatched by U.S. intelligence agencies to spirit North Korean citizens away to other countries.” – Kim Jong Il building ties of friendship with Cuba and Venezuela

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Damitio  (@vagodamitio) is the Editor-in-Chief for Vagobond. Life is good. You can also find him on Google+ and at Facebook